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Have you ever felt completely invisible? Or maybe sometimes you\u2019ve even WISHED you could be invisible! I suppose there could be advantages, like when you want to hear what your friends and family are REALLY saying about you! Or like when you want to sneak through a crowd without having everyone stop you to ask, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d That\u2019s probably a more realistic application for a widow who truly doesn\u2019t know how to answer that question. She puts on a smile and straightens her shoulders and walks through the people, shaking hands and say, \u201cJust fine. Thank-you for asking!\u201d (Inside her head she may want to scream, \u201cHow do you THINK I\u2019m doing?\u201d)<\/p>\n
For many of us, it feels as though when our husband died, we truly DID become invisible! Dave was so very public and visible here in Omaha, that people mostly saw him. When he was gone, it sometimes felt like they no longer saw me at all. We\u2019ve talked in other posts about the fact that widows typically lose 75%-80% of their relationships. It\u2019s all part of becoming invisible. The months go by, and it seems as though we\u2019re forgotten even by people who should remember!<\/p>\n
Sometimes our hearts are crying inside when we go to church alone, sit alone, and worship alone. We look fine on the outside, but our hearts are saying, \u201cDoes anyone notice that I\u2019m hurting?\u201d \u201cDoes anyone see the real me, the one who weeps in the dark night?\u201d \u201cDoes anyone see inside the cleaned up, dressed up lovely actress that I\u2019ve become?\u201d \u201cDoes anyone even notice that I\u2019m here today?\u201d<\/p>\n
God has put a deep need in us to know and be known. When our husband dies, a shell closes around the empty hole in our heart where he used to reside, and it becomes difficult to feel \u201cknown\u201d or \u201cseen\u201d any longer.<\/p>\n
In her book, \u201cThe Grieving Mind\u201d, Mary Frances O\u2019Connor explains this need for closeness and what it looks like on brain scans. While we always maintain a sense of \u201cself”, our brain maps the dimension of closeness as to how much our spousal \u201cother\u201d has grown to overlap our area of \u201cself\u201d. When the Bible speaks of two becoming one, brain scans can now show us what that looks like in our brain activity! When our spouse dies, there is literally a gap in our brain where they used to exist, overlapping my sense of \u201cself\u201d. Suddenly I don\u2019t \u201cknow\u201d like I used to, and I no longer am \u201cknown\u201d like I used to be. How fascinating!<\/p>\n
The good news is that God always sees us. One of His names is El Roi, \u201cThe God Who Sees\u201d. We only see this name for God used in one place in the Bible. In Genesis 16, we find Hagar having run away from Abraham and Sarah, finding herself under a bush in the desert with her son, Ishmael. God speaks to her and makes some very powerful promises to her and her son. Her response is to say, \u201cYou are the God who really sees me!\u201d When we, like Hagar, feel the most invisible and forgotten, we can rest in the knowledge that God is the One who truly sees us.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve talked at various times about journaling and writing our story. Now is the time to go back and read those things you have written. Remind yourself of all that God has done to show you He truly does see you. He has seen and provided for your needs every single day since you became a widow. And because it is impossible for Him to change, He will continue to see you and provide for you throughout your future days. Every. Single. Day.<\/p>\n
In \u201cJesus Calling\u201d, January 14th<\/sup>, Sarah Young says: \u201cIt is easy to touch up your outward appearance, to look as if you have it all together. Your attempts to look good can fool most people. But I (Jesus) see straight through you, into the depths of your being. There is no place for pretense in your relationship with Me. Rejoice in the relief of being fully understood. Talk with Me about your struggles and feelings of inadequacy.\u201d<\/p>\n Hebrews 13:5 says: \u201c\u2026<\/em>for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you\u00a0nor\u00a0give you up\u00a0nor\u00a0leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless\u00a0nor\u00a0forsake\u00a0nor\u00a0let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] Amplified Bible<\/em><\/p>\n This God who promises never to relax His grip on us, or let us fall, surely sees us even when it seems as though no one else does. When it seems that no one remembers you, God does. You are written on the palm of His hand, dear one, and He sees every desire of your heart. May this bring comfort to your heart and help to heal the loneliness. You are never truly alone.<\/p>\n Your comments are welcome. Please feel to share this with others you know, or you can email me at sheryl@freshhope.us<\/p>\n DO YOU SEE ME? Have you ever felt completely invisible? Or maybe sometimes you\u2019ve even WISHED you could be invisible! I suppose there could be…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,41,25,53,31,43,47],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anxiety","category-depression","category-grief","category-isolation-loneliness","category-peer-to-peer-support","category-ruminating","category-transition"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/refocusingwido.wpenginepowered.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/Wavy-lines-300x117.jpg\")
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