{"id":885,"date":"2023-09-06T17:37:53","date_gmt":"2023-09-06T22:37:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/refocusingwido.wpenginepowered.com\/?p=885"},"modified":"2025-03-31T18:21:55","modified_gmt":"2025-03-31T23:21:55","slug":"learning-to-ask-for-what-you-need","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/refocusingwidows.org\/es\/learning-to-ask-for-what-you-need\/","title":{"rendered":"Learning to Ask for What You Need"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Learning to Ask for What You Need<\/h2>\n

Can we begin this post by agreeing that one of the most difficult things for any of us to do is to ask for help? Maybe it\u2019s something in the DNA of the human race that insists on independence and self-sufficiency. I seem to recall all three of my toddlers telling me frequently, \u201cMommy! I do it!\u201d<\/p>\n

Just like those independent 2-year-olds, we often have an over-inflated idea of our own capabilities. But we just can\u2019t seem to help ourselves! Something in us drives us to think we can do \u201cit\u201d on our own. Obviously, we know better than the one trying to give us directions and\/or help us!<\/p>\n

As I pondered on this a bit\u2026remember that I think a lot? \u2026 I realized that this was the root problem way back in the Garden of Eden! God gave some very clear instructions regarding which trees in the Garden were safe to eat from, and which should be avoided. But did those first humans pay attention?! No!! They thought they knew better, exerted their independence (free will) and made what they thought were more logical decisions. We see how that all turned out for everyone!<\/p>\n

Since that day in the Garden of Eden, God has been at work in every one of our lives gently nudging us towards the pathway that He knows will be best for us. Sometimes we\u2019ve been listening carefully, acted obediently, and seen wonderful results in our lives. Other times, well, we thought we knew better, made our own choices, and reaped the harvest that came with them! Jeremiah 29:11 says this, \u201cFor I know the plans\u00a0I have for you,\u201d declares the\u00a0Lord, \u201cplans to prosper\u00a0you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.\u201d Our Heavenly Father knows precisely what will be best.<\/p>\n

By now, you may be agreeing but still asking what this has to do with being a widow? Plenty! Do you know that widows are notorious for NOT telling anyone when they need help with something? People can be very kind and thoughtful, asking if you\u2019re doing okay or if you need anything. But what do we usually respond? \u201cOh, no, I\u2019m fine really!\u201d And all the while we\u2019re at our wits\u2019 end trying to figure out how to handle all the things that wonderful husband used to do. You know, things like getting the car serviced, buying new tires, keeping up with the yardwork, cleaning the garage! Or maybe we just could use a boost by someone coming to clean the house just so we feel like we\u2019re somewhat caught up.<\/p>\n

We think we can manage it all: housekeeping, job, vehicle and home maintenance, taxes and insurance, shopping and bill paying, yardwork, ministry, communications, and maybe a little self-care like exercise, eating, and sleeping thrown in! The true fact of the matter is that there used to be two people to keep up on all those things. Now there\u2019s only one of you to try to do what two people used to do. It\u2019s just a total impossibility!<\/p>\n

When we come to this realization, we\u2019re faced with a couple of options. We can continue to struggle with it all alone, trying to convince ourselves that we can manage\u2026and continually feeling like we\u2019re failing. The second option is to eliminate some things. But what will they be? It all needs to be done\u2026or not. Maybe the house isn\u2019t quite as clean as it used to be, or you run the dishwasher once a week instead of once a day. Maybe the flower beds are full of weeds. But, hey, they bloom too! Just pretend they\u2019re prairie grasses and wildflowers!<\/p>\n

Our third option is to die to our pride and ask for help. Remember all those people at the funeral who said, \u201cLet me know if you need anything?\u201d or \u201cCall me if you need help with anything?\u201d Maybe now is the time to give them a call, just to get you to a better place of a little less stress.<\/p>\n

The Scripture is full of \u201cone anothers\u201d. Here are just a few of the more than 100 references that instruct us how to relate to each other.<\/p>\n