Thanksgiving or Giving Thanks?
Here we are at that time of the year again! Fall has come (and for the most part gone!), and we are officially launched into the holiday season. Soon, the Christmas decorations and lights come out, and the Fall leaves and pumpkins go away for another year! (If you are among the less fortunate ones who don’t experience all four seasons, you have our sympathy!) Here in the Midwest, we’ve moved seamlessly from the heat of Summer to the cooler and more colorful days of Fall. But time marches on, and we’re now headed towards the snow and ice of winter – which isn’t all bad if it includes days snuggled inside by the fireplace watching it snow outside, accompanied by hot chocolate and a good book…or the smell of your favorite cookies wafting through the house.
Today I want to talk a bit about the differences between Thanksgiving and Giving Thanks. This is a topic that comes around every year, but I find that it’s good for us to stop and take time to smell the….pumpkin spice lattes?? Thanksgiving does conjure up a lot of cozy images…at least here in the States. While the rest of the world tries to understand, we celebrate it as a national holiday.
When we speak of Thanksgiving here, we usually have family gatherings in mind, complete with tables of food. We can almost taste the turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and dressing. Then there’s the other side dishes that vary according to what part of the country you’re from. But always there’s the pie and ice cream! Pumpkin, pecan, lemon, cherry, Dutch apple…you name it, we love it! And then there’s the annual Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York, and the ever-present football games.
We love to think of our holidays as children with fond memories, and are sometimes disappointed when we fail to re-create the magic for our own families. This is especially true if we created those memories for our own children, but now the Dad of the family is gone. His absence leaves such a big gap in the festivities…and at the table.
Most often when we think of “Thanksgiving”, we’re thinking of either a holiday, or a special event focused around this theme. But what if we turn it around to “Giving Thanks”? Does that take on a different, somewhat subtle, meaning for us? Giving Thanks doesn’t need to be restricted to a day or an event or an occasion. Rather, it can – and maybe should – be a lifestyle for us.
Giving Thanks is also often referred to as Gratitude. We’ve talked previously about the benefits of living a lifestyle of gratitude, but it’s always good to be reminded. As we face the everyday situations and frustrations that life brings us, we can easily find ourselves slipping into a critical, complaining mindset, feeling as though we’re the only ones that life has decided to harass! Staying in that mental or emotional space for very long can lead to depression and a worsening of your grief.
Let’s look for a moment at the positive benefits of walking out a lifestyle of Gratitude – or Giving Thanks! Gratitude is more than just a positive feeling. Expressing Gratitude involves recognizing how other individuals and experiences contribute to our well-being.
Over the years, many studies have been done in this area of gratitude. A 2024 study from Harvard found that gratitude may even extend lifespan, based on data from the Nurses’ Health Study involving over 49,000 women. [health.harvard.edu]
Giving thanks strengthens our relationships and bonds with others. These relationships are especially important as we walk through the grief process. This simple act of expressing gratitude has been shown to trigger the release of our “feel-good” hormones: dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Other studies have shown that it improves sleep and contributes to our well-being, both physically and socially. Regular gratitude practices can lead to changes in the wiring of our brains, strengthening pathways commonly associated with positive emotions and weakening those linked to negativity and stress. Gratitude practices like journaling or listing “three good things” daily have been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and enhance mood. Who needs medications? Just give thanks!
The simple act of Giving Thanks for all the little things in life that bless you and make your days a bit easier can lead to profound changes. As you grow in this practice, and as you begin to live a thankful lifestyle, you will see changes in your perspective. You will see changes in the way you think, the way you feel, and the level of your self-confidence.
But there’s an even more compelling reason to give thanks. It is the will of God!
1 Thessalonians 5:18: “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
Everything that concerns us must come through the permission of the Father first. If we believe the Bible to be God’s inspired Word, then we must take this verse literally. Everything…including the loss of our husbands, the grief we deal with, and our gratitude in the midst of it…is God’s will for us. To refuse to practice this as a lifestyle is quite simply to rebel against His will for us.
So, this year, as you contemplate “Thanksgiving”, let it be more than an event for you. Let it be the first day of a new lifestyle focused on Giving Thanks. Turn your heart from looking back at all you’ve lost, to being in the moment of seeing all that you still have, and maybe even let yourself hope for all that is yet to come.
Como siempre, sus pensamientos y comentarios son bienvenidos aquí o puede enviarme un correo electrónico a sheryl@freshhope.us. Si está buscando un nuevo propósito y un camino para seguir adelante, considere unirse a uno de nuestros grupos de Refocusing Widows, ya sea en persona o en línea. Puede registrarse en www.refocusingwidows.org/Groups. ¡Esperamos conocerle!
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