Your Talking Hands

Your Talking Hands

Our hands have a great deal to say about us! I remember visiting my 95-year-old mother-in-law and noticing her hands. The skin was nearly translucent, fragile and pale with the veins showing clearly. Her finger joints were swollen with arthritis, and her plain gold wedding band still adorned her left-hand ring finger – after 75 years of marriage. Our hands age right along with the rest of us!

Remember that commercial advertising dish soap many years ago that asked the question, “Which pair of hands belongs to the mother?” The chores and activities of life can take a toll on our hands, leaving us with callouses, scars, or even missing fingers! By the same token, our hands can tell many stories about what kind of lifestyle we’ve led. Are they work-hardened? Or maybe they’re soft, tanned, and sporting a perfect manicure!

Hands communicate in many ways. A pointing finger communicates accusation, or identification. Clapping hands share feelings of joy or excitement! Closed fists tell us there’s anger under the surface. In the past year, I’ve had three grandkids become engaged. The first thing those young ladies did was hold up their hands with fingers spread to show off their rings! Those same grandkids provided me with hundreds of athletic events where “high fives” were the normal expression of a job well done.

When we grieve, our hands tell quite a different story. Consider for a moment all the gestures you see when someone dies. Those who are mourning tend to hold their hands much closer to their bodies, sometimes closed, sometimes clutching tissues, or sometimes just holding onto someone close to them – drawing from the strength of others. A grieving wife may wring her hands, feeling confused or hopeless. Or she may cover her face, trying to withdraw from the world. In sign language, the sign for grief is two closed hands palm to palm, twisting over the heart.

During this season of life, I find myself attending quite a number of weddings. One of the most common parts of the ceremony is when the officiant asks the couple to face each other and hold hands. Why is this important? Probably because it allows them to look into each other’s eyes – the windows to the soul – and even more importantly, symbolizes the joining of two separate people.

Since becoming a widow, have you been aware of what your hands are saying about you? God gave us two hands with opposing thumbs so that we could grasp and accomplish things. As I have interacted with my little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Louie, I have become aware of the fact that he can only pick up and carry things with his mouth! God gave us amazing hands! What are your hands doing these days? Are they reaching out to touch others? Maybe they are staying busy doing projects around your home. Or are they actively helping others in some volunteer endeavor?

Widows need not be wringing their hands with anxiety, fisting them in anger, or letting them lie idle in their laps while staring at the walls! God has things for your hands to do…things that maybe you haven’t even thought of yet.

As I was writing this, I started looking up scriptures that might be encouraging to us as we consider God’s hands. Isaiah 49:16 says, “Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands;” The first word of comfort is that I am always immediately visible to God. My kids used to sometimes write things on the palm of their hand. Why? So they could see it quickly and be reminded of something they didn’t want to forget! God wants to be thinking about you! It’s impossible for him to forget you!

Isaiah 41:10 – “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Here is another promise to lean on. In fact, this would be a good one to put on your bathroom mirror to see as you face each new day. Don’t allow fear and anxiety to intimidate you. God has very big hands, and He promises to help you!

And what’s next in this sequence of promises? The words of Jesus Himself!  John 10:28-29 – “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” You are secure in the Father’s love and can have the assurance that life for you and your spouse will continue on into eternity.

And last but not least, God is so proud of how you’re holding up during this most difficult testing time! Isaiah 62:3 – “The LORD will hold you in his hand for all to see – a splendid crown in the hand of God.” Can you imagine God pointing to you and saying, “Just look at her! What a woman of strength and courage! I’m so proud of how she’s handling this time of great pain and challenge! I’m going to help her through it Myself!”

Take a look at your hands today! What are they communicating? Are they holding others in the same way God’s hands are holding you? Even in this time of deep sadness and loss, it is possible for us to continue to grow in the way we reflect the image of Christ. Use your hands today to reach out and touch someone who is hurting, and I guarantee it will bring healing to your own heart.

As always, your thoughts and comments are welcome here or you can email me at sheryl@freshhope.us. If you’re looking for a new purpose and a pathway to move ahead, please consider joining one of our Refocusing Widows groups, either in person or online. We will soon be adding new groups to the “Groups” page on the website, where you can register directly. We look forward to meeting you!