Who we are
Refocusing Widows is a faith-based ministry initiative under the umbrella of Fresh Hope. We utilize research-supported peer-to-peer support structures, as well as personal coaching, to encourage widows to embrace and move through their grief to a new season of growth and personal accomplishment.
Our Vision
The Vision of Refocusing Widows is a simple one: “We envision a host of women who have embraced grief, discovered their new identity, and leveraged their strengths and gifts so that they are empowered to change the world around them.”
Our Mission
Refocusing Widows exists to identify, provide resources and coaching, and establish a peer-to-peer support community for widowed individuals.
Refocusing Principles
Learning to live well, and to experience a joy-filled, abundant life in spite of the loss of my spouse.
Uniqueness of being a Widow
I have experienced the profound grief of losing my spouse. Because only another widow can truly identify, I choose to seek help and support from other widows in a safe environment where I can share my pain, my struggles, and my victories.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together,
as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” – Hebrews 10:24-25
Personal Wellness & Self-care
Grief can be intense and overwhelming, sometimes manifesting in unexpected sadness, exhaustion, or medical issues resulting from fulltime caregiving. As part of my grief recovery, I choose to prioritize my self-care, getting plenty of sleep, exercise, and giving attention to my personal health.
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?
You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So, glorify God in your body.” – I Corinthians 6:19-20
Widow Fog and Decision-making
“Widow Fog” is a real brain chemistry condition that keeps me from thinking clearly. It robs me of my ability to function, and causes me to feel hopeless, helpless, and unable to make decisions. Amid this indecision, I choose to seek wisdom from appropriate family and/or mentors to guide me. Each successful decision builds my self-confidence to believe I can manage successfully on my own.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”– James 1:5
Discovering My New Identity, Preferences, and Life Roles
In becoming a widow, I experienced a profound change of my identity. I am no longer a “We” but am learning to live as an “I”. To facilitate that journey of self-discovery, I choose to explore my own preferences and interests, and find what my new roles will be. I choose to not be defined by my loss, but rather to build confidence in who “I” am.
“I will praise You; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well.”– Psalms 139:14
Finding My New Tribe
Grief can cause debilitating loneliness, because all my relationships with friends and family were impacted when my spouse died. When I focus only on myself and my needs, I am tempted to believe the lie that no one cares about me. I choose not to be offended when these relationships seem to disappear. Rather, I choose to begin building new relationships, because focusing on others will help me process the grief. I also choose to seek community, and to share my story with others, thereby helping
them to grow and live well.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” — Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” – Hebrews 6:10
Overcoming Fear and Anxiety
Living as a widow can cause fears and anxieties that I’ve never experienced before. In the face of many unknowns, I choose to walk in an opposite spirit of confidence, knowing that God has promised to care for widows and give special attention to their needs.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
Discovering Resources
Being on my own has launched me into an unfamiliar world of finances, home maintenance, vehicles, and dozens of daily decisions. To help me negotiate this maze, I choose to identify resources and networks that can help me manage daily life.
“So continue encouraging each other and building each other up, just like you are doing already.”
— I Thessalonians 5:11
Finding My Purpose and Direction
Sometimes I find myself asking, “What comes next?” Knowing that unprocessed grief can lead to despair and recognizing that grief will never be “gone”, I choose to seek wise counsel, and to spend time seeking what God’s new purpose will be for me as I move ahead into the next season of my life. I choose to seek God’s perspective and to refocus my energy on the future, knowing God has a plan to redeem my pain.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”– Ephesians 2:10
Meet our founder
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